| Location | Ballycastle |
| Age | 1 month, 27 days |
| Cause of Death | Cot Death/Sudden Infant Death Syndrome |
| Date of Birth | 29/05/2008 |
| Date of Death | 26/07/2008 |
| Visitors | 6,440 since 01/08/2008 |
| Creator |
My beautiful daughter rhyana mackenzie was born may 29th 08 after a 6 hour labour an weighing a
healthy 71b 2oz. That was my family completed. Rhyana was a sister to 4 year old ronan and 2 year
old kayla. She had a head full of dark hair an gorgeous dark brown eyes. Everyone always commented
on her beauty, saying she looked like a wee doll. We felt so proud that she belonged to us.
Rhyana was such a fantastic baby, she only got up one time through the night for a feed but that
stopped when she was 4 weeks, she was sleeping from 10.30pm till 8.30am. We couldnt believe our
luck!! Rhyana loved to go out walks in her buggy, she loved cuddles an playing below her gym. She
also really loved her bathtime!!
Everyday with rhyana was fantastic, she was growing up to be so cute!! Her christening day was
planned for july 27th 08 but on july 26th, the day before it, the worst thing ever happened.
Rhyana was with my friend for few hours on the saturday morning as id gone to get my hair done for
her big day. I was home around 12 an i rung my friend to bring her home. Rhyana was asleep in her
carseat when she came home but woke around 1.15pm for a bottle, she guzzled down 4oz an then lay
below her play gym for half an hour. She got a little grumpy at 3 oclock so i got her bum changed an
then settled her in her cot for her nap. Her afternoon nap usually lasted for 3 or 4 hours. I dont
know why but at 5.30pm, just 2 an a half hours into her nap i decided to go check on her. I opened
the door an just peeked in but something didnt look right, her face was pale. I ran to the cot an
grabbed her up and just started screaming. I knew instantly my beautiful daughter was dead. Her lips
were blue an she had already started to go cold. I ran to phone an called the ambulance an they
talked cpr through with me. I prayed to god to help my little girl but nothing worked. The ambulance
were with me in approx 10 minutes. I was in such a hysterical state, one of my neighbours heard me
an come over to give me some comfort as the paramedics worked on rhyana. I just watched her tiny
lifeless body lying on my floor and i cursed god, i hated him for taking my little girl.
The next few hours were a blur. My partner had been contacted an we went to hospital with rhyana in
ambulance. They told us there that she had died at least an hour before i had found her. Il never
forgive myself for not going into her room sooner. We spent a few hours with her, cuddling her and
saying our goodbyes. Sean ( rhyanas daddy ) and i just cried and cried. Other family members came up
to see her as well, everyones hearts were broken.
Sunday ( her christening ) was such a difficult day, her gorgeous dress was still hanging on door
for her to wear and her little headband, booties an tights were sitting on kitchen table. Ronan and
Kayla were confused with everything, an its so difficult to explain to little kids whats happened.
We just said that Rhyana was an angel in heaven now and she has big white fluffy wings. They
accepted that. We had visitors coming to the house constantly. I didnt want to see anyone except my
mum, sean an my kids.
Rhyana was brought home on tuesday evening. We had given her christening dress for her to wear along
with a little white hat. She looked beautiful, just like she was asleep. It was so lovely to have
her home for the night. Her funeral was at 1oclock on wednesday. Iv never felt pain like it. Seeing
my little girls pink coffin being lowered into the ground. I just broke down into seans arms. My
family were great support for me that day. But no parent should have to watch there child be
buried.
Rhyanas autopsy results came back totally normal. They told us that sadly cot death ( or sids ) was
what took our little princess. How cruel. I wish there was proper answers regarding cot death. How
can a healthy babys heart just stop beating. Im not content with that.
Every day without Rhyana is so difficult but i feel she is giving us the strength to keep going.
I really hope that one day soon there will be a reason found for cot death and hopefully before this
cruel killer takes many more beautiful healthy babys.
Sleep tight princess xxxxx
The mask I wear
You see this smiling happy face
But look closely at my eyes
You'll see they are still dead inside
It shouldn’t be a surprise
Yes I smile , I laugh, I joke
Sometimes join in, have some fun
Don’t you realise when I lost my child
A new existence has begun
I wander round the town with you
We sit, eat lunch, drink tea
Please look past this false smile I give
Look for the real me
I may look as if the old me's back
But don’t you realise it's an act?
I have to pretend that I'm ok
Me and my conscience made a pact
When I'm all alone at home
I sit and stare into space
I think constantly about my child
Just remembering their face
I've never felt so all alone
Even when lost in a crowd
I want to scream and shout and rave
Shout 'please notice me' out loud
So please don’t be fooled by the person you see
Look beyond the act I give
Speak to me about my child
Please help me again to live
(Author Unknown)
-----------------------------
The Shopping Trip
As I peruse the aisles
of the local store
I see things more differently
than I ever have before
'Daddy's Little Angel'
the embroidered bibs do read
But Daddy's angel is in Heaven
and bibs she does not need.
She does not need a bottle
a dress or a toy
Of buying those things for her
we shall never know the joy
There are tiny jars of baby food
that she will never eat
And shiny shoes with buckles
that will never touch her feet
As the bikes and trikes taunt me
from high up on the rack
Tears will break free from my eyes
if I dare look back
I run off to the restroom
to blow my nose and cry
I wipe my eyes, swallow hard
and let out a sigh
I must go face the paper,
college and wide rule
That my little angel
will never use in school
I hurry past the greeting cards
that the people choose with care
And I am reminded
of the holidays we shall not share
In the checkout line I bow my head
and heavy is my heart
For the family right in front of me
has a newborn in their cart
Shopping in the local store
used to be mundane
Now every aisle's full of items
which remind me of my pain
So, quick as I can, I give the cashier
the money from my purse
And hurry away from those who don't know my pain
in this foreignly happy universe
(Author Unknown)
------------------------------------
What My Child Has Taught Me
- I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
- I've learned that learning to forgive takes a lot of practice.
- I've learned that friends can become strangers, and strangers can become friends.
- I've learned that ignorance isn't an excuse for lack of compassion.
- I've learned that some people will never, ever - "get it".
- I've learned that no matter how badly your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
- I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of minutes.
- I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
- I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- I've learned that love isn't measured by the amount of time you have with someone.
- I've learned that some sorrow is so deep that it has no words. But so is love.
- I've learned that some positives can come out of a tragedy... and that friends and strangers alike
can give more comfort and strength than they will ever know.
- I've learned that the words 'Thank You' sometimes are nowhere near enough to express gratitude,
when someone has helped you survive a day that you didn't have the strength to get through on your
own. Or when someone takes the time to acknowledge what has happened and cares enough to listen to
you.
- I've learned how important and powerful hugs are.
- I've learned how much i love those around me.
- I've learned what it means to become a family, and that i have more love for my daughter than I
ever thought possible.
----------------------------------------
Where Did It Go?
Where did our life go
What happened to all our plans
Where did that first smile go,
That first 'dada'
That first 'mama'
That first fabulous tooth ?
What happened to that first day of school
Those scraped knees i was gonna kiss better
That first school photo
What happened to that first ' I love you '
That first gappy grin ?
Who stole the insolent teenager who would
Exasperate us, wear us out and make us proud
Where did her wedding day go
And her husband
And their beautiful children ?
In a missed heartbeat
We were robbed of all of this
Of our girl and her beautiful treasured life .
God took you in his loving arms “He saw you needed rest,” His garden must be beautiful For he
only takes the best....xxxxxxxx
WITH LOVE XXX
____*hug*___*hug*__ __*h ug*___*hug*____
___*hug*______*hug*_ *hug*_______*hug*__
__*hug*__________*hu g*__________*hug*__
__*hug*_____________ ___________*hug*___
___*hug*_________ ________*hug*____
____*hug____________ _________*hug*_____
______*hug*_________ _______*hug*_______
________*hug*_______ _____*hug*_________
__________*hug*_____ ___*hug*___________
_____*hug*___*hug*__ __*hug*___*hug*____
___*hug*______*hug*_ *hug*_______*hug*__
__*hug*__________*hu g*__________*hug*__
__*hug*_____________ ___________*hug*___
___*hug*_______THINK ING________*hug*____
____*hug________OF YOU ________hug*_____
______*hug*_________ ________*hug*______
________*hug*_______ ______*hug*________
__________*hug*_____ ____*hug*___________
___________*hug*____ ___*hug*____________
____________*hug*___ __*hug*___________
_____________*hug*__ _*hug*___________
______________*hug*_ *hug*_____________
_________________*hu g*_______________
Happy christmas sweetheart xx
Happy 1st christmas our special little rhyana. Its sooo unfair that you wernt able to spend 2day with your family and everyone who loves you. I hope you had a happy day in heaven my darling. I thought of you loads 2day. We visited your special angel garden this morning and left you a lovely christmas wreath. Everyone has left you lots of special gifts. You deserve so much more tho. Im off to bed now princess, was up sooo early this morning and im really tired now. I love you with all my heart n soul beautiful precious rhyana. Sleep tight sweetheart xxxxxxx
Thank you rhyana :)
Hello my beautiful girl. I just wanted to thank you for the new baby you have blessed me n ur daddy with. We know this was ur xmas present for us :)
You can never be replaced darling but this new baby is gona be sooo special because s/he is from you, our little angel in heaven.
Il be on 2moro to light ur xmas candle sweetheart. Love you so much xxxxxxx
A Teddy For You ~xx*xx~
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒██▒▒▒▒██
▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓█▒██▓▓██▒█▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒█▓▒▒▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▒▒▓█
▒▒▒▒▒█▓▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓██▓▓▓▓██▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▒▒█▓▒▒▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▒▒▓▒▒██▒▒▓▒▒▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▒▒▓▒▒▒█▒▒▓▒▒▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓▓██▓▓▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓█▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓█▓▓▓█
▒▒██▓▓▓█▓▒▒▒██▒██▒▒▒▓█▓▓▓██
▒█▓▓▓▓█▓▓▒▒█▓▓█▓▓█▒▒▓▓█▓▓▓▓█
█▓██▓▓█▓▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓█▒▒▒▓█▓▓██▓█ █▓▓▓▓█▓▓▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓█▒▒▒▒▓▓█▓▓▓▓█ ▒█▓▓▓█▓▓▒▒▒▒▒█▓█▒▒▒▒▒▓▓█▓▓▓█
▒▒████▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▒▒▒▒▓▓████
▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓█
▒▒▒▒▒████▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓████
▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
Im sorry darling xx
Im sorry sweetheart, my laptop isnt working so thats why iv not been on to light ur candles but im hoping to have it back again soon. I know that you dont mind anyway princess coz u know i love you with all my heart. Its almost christmas now and im dreading it coz ur supposed to be here with us. Everytime i c something that i know u would of liked it breaks my heart. I honestly cant wait till its all over. Love you rhyana, more than you will ever know xxxx
For my little princess xxxx
I'm By Your Side
I stood beside your bed last night,
I came to have a peek,
I could see that you were crying,
Quietly in your sleep.
I touched you softly,
as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast,
I watched you pour your tea,
You were thinking of how much
you will always 'Love' me.
I was with you while you shopped today
Your arms were getting sore
I longed to take your heavy bags
I wished I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today
You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you
that I'm not really there.
I walked with you to the door
as you fumbled for your key
I gently put my hand on you
I smiled and said "It's me".
You looked so tired
and sank into a chair
I tried so hard to let you know
That I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be
so near you everyday
To say to you with certainty
"I never went away".
You sat there very quietly
then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of the evening
I was very close to you.
The day is over..
I smile and watch you yawning
and say Goodnight, God Bless
I will see you in the morning.
And when the time is right for you
to cross the brief divide
I'll rush across to meet you
And we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you
there is so much for you to see
Be patient, live your journey out
then come home to be with me.
Love you Always
From mummy, daddy, ronan n kayla xxxxxxxx
+ . . * + * * . + * .*.++
. * + * JUST * + .
+ . . * + . + * . * +
* . + *sending.* + .
+ . . * + . + * . * + .
+ , *SOME. +christmas *
+ . . * + . + * . * + .*
.love * *to. * THIS.* .
. * + * * + . *+ *
+ ..PAGE.. * + . +
+ ....* + . + * . * +
’\:’\’\::|::/’::/’/’
....’\’\::’\:|:/’:/’/’....___,•’`�`’•,
.....’\’\’\|/’/’/’......../..........._/
.......’\’\|/’/’...,.~~/=====_/
........[||||].....(_________)
..........||.....,•’`.._....._....`’•,
..........||.../...... (o)(o)` ......\
..........||..|............X ...........I
..........||...\.......\____/......./
..........||.....’•,_............._,•’
.........,||..,~•��\\\\(@)//__
.....,•’`.||..............////\\\.......`’•,
.....’,...||.............////O\\...........\
..,•’`...,||•’`�`’•,...////.....\\..….\
..’,_______,•’..///...O...../......|
.......,|.||.........................\..….|
....../..||.............O.................I
/’��`’•,_||............................./
_.’•.___.~...’`.......,’•._,.•’•,_..•’
.....’•.__,.•’•.,_.,.•’...............
XXMERRY CHRISTMASXX
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND EVERYONE
Our Lives changed, the very moment you passed away.
We couldn't stop it; there was nothing we could say.
You've touched our lives so deeply to a point you will never know,
We try to think about you when we are feeling down and low.
Sometimes when our day gets hard we will think about your beautiful smile
And if we listen hard enough we will hear your voice after a while.
It's you who give us a reason to go on with our day,
And now if we want to see you we'll bow our heads and pray.
We catch ourselves looking for you still, in the halls and at the front door,
But when we call your name there is no reply any more!
We never thought a day would come where we would be apart,
God has you in his keepings, we have you in our hearts.
Life will go on, but never will be the same,
Your beautiful smile is gone, but it will always remain.
You're our angel from up above.
You'll always be missed, but most importantly... loved.
Just one more minute, God, is all we ask- why can't you give them back;
It seems like such a simple task. We guess people are right when they say God only takes the best,
We know enough now that you're peacefully at rest.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
You can shed tears that they are gone,
Or you can smile because they lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that they will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that they have left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see them
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember them and only that they are gone
Or you can cherish the memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what they would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
I'm writing this from heaven, where I dwell with God above.
Where there's no more tears or sadness, there's just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy because I am out of sight
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
And I will stay beside you, every day, week and year
And when you're sad I'll still be there to wipe away your tears.
When you think of my life on earth and all those living years
Because your only human their bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry it does relieve the pain
Remember there wouldn't be flowers unless we first had rain.
I wish I could tell you of all that God has planned
But even if I were able to, you wouldn't understand.
When your going down the street and you've got me on your mind
I'm walking in your footsteps and only half a step behind.
And if you feel a gentle breeze or wind upon your face
Remember it's only me with a loving and soft embrace.
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
♥ * Just * X . ♥
X . . * ♥ . * ♥. * X
♥ X*Sprinkling* . ♥
X. . * ♥ . X * . * ♥.
♥.X *Your * Page X* ♥
X . ♥ * . ♥ * . * X.*
♥.* X With * Some.* X. ♥
. * ♥ * * X . *+ * X ♥ X
X ♥ * . Love ♥ . * X ♥
xx
I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
Create an ever lasting memorial for your loved ones.
Start here »
Using the options below you can add this memorial to your personal garden.
| I am Rhyana's ... | |
| Add to Garden: | |
| Notifications: | Text Message |
There have been 1060 candles lit for Rhyana.
